Why The Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting Is Harmful. What The AA Meeting Really Is Like.

Judging by the title of my content, it would be assumed that I have not even a small inkling of like for Alcoholics Anonymous. And that assumption would be correct. I have contended in other articles repeatedly the destructive effects the AA philosophy has on its members, most who do not succeed in staying sober using those tenets of “the rooms.” Their methods are neither physically nor emotionally healthy for the very people they claim they are attempting to help. The minority of those who do manage to stay sober remain trapped in their cult and eventually become senior members who only continue to chant the cult mantra of this failed program.

My contention receives a snarl from AA. As I am close to two decades sober yet do not follow the protocol of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have started not one step, do not have a sponsor, never chanted the Serenity Prayer and worse yet—claim myself to be cured from the addiction. A term that is heresy to the long-time members of AA.

But I did attend two of their meetings at the eleventh month of my sobriety.

This statement is what gets the condescending comments from the AA platform.Two meetings? Oh, this is your vast experience? You never even tried the program. Who are you to say anything?

THE SMALL BOOK: HOW I BEAT ALCOHOLISM AND WHY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS DOESN'T WORK

Well, what can I say? I never tried ingesting arsenic either but can pretty much tell you it probably wouldn’t be healthy for me. I stated in a previous article that one doesn’t need to spend years in the Hare Krishna group to know it is a cult. If someone is of clear headed status, it will be very easy to see that spending your evenings in the rooms is a toxic endeavor.

So how come I can see it but all the other members can’t?

Well, first it is important to understand I went to the two meetings at eleven months sober. So the worst phases of primary and secondary withdrawal were long finished. It takes until about the six month mark before the cravings really start to go into dormancy. And your physiological and mental state the first thirty to forty-five days is nothing short of complete internal chaos. Most people will walk through the AA doors in these initial phases. Even those who were fortunate enough to afford a rehab center for a month will still be indoctrinated with the tenets of AA and will be sent to the nearest meeting upon discharge.

When one is in this extremely and emotionally weakened state, one will be much more apt to accept the cult doctrine. After all, you want to be sober and are walking through the inferno in attempt to achieve this new state. You see the senior members and sponsors who are sober so they must know. They tell you if you want to be like them, you have to follow their long ingrained lead. It is a form of brainwashing and if the rinse and repeat cycle runs for a few months, then usually they have you. The newly sober might be smoking a pack a day and sucking down a milkshake every hour, but they aren’t drinking so the program must be working, right?

Sure, depending on your definition of working.

And I think we need to establish something before I go on about what those two meetings were like that led me to the accusation that AA is a cult. It wasn’t like I had no prior knowledge of the makings of AA. My brother was an alcoholic. I was in their meetings for family members more than once, where they explained in great detail what AA does and how they do it. My younger sibling spent a few years there before he had the internal revelation that the group was unhelpful. His report was exactly the same as the one I’m about to portray. He is decades sober today. His once spouse was also a member of AA. She didn’t make it and is now deceased. I’ve read your literature, your steps and your grand book that sits on the AA shelf. I’m quite familiar with the AA concept. So was Chris Prentiss with his son’s addiction, which fell under drugs and alcohol. After his son failed repeatedly in the traditional program, Chris used a non-twelve step method. Later he created the Passages clinic for alcohol and drug addiction. He states he has a large majority cure rate from these various addictions—including his son now. His philosophy of treatment is similar to mine—holistic recovery toward cure.

I am well aware of what AA is. The two meetings only confirmed what I already suspected. That the rooms are completely unhealthy—physically and mentally. And my experience in them only proved myself correct.

The two meetings I attended were in separate locations but were basically the same. There is a sense of underlying negativity the second you walk through the door. Members already have that cup of coffee in their hands or are smoking outside. There is an edginess in the air, most likely from a group who all think they are diseased and forever addicted. Here we go again, goin’ relive that horrific life yet another night.

There is the Serenity Prayer. That isn’t a terrible concept, I imagine, but they also claim they aren’t based on religious tenets. It only lasts about a minute, but if you check out their steps, God is all over the place in them, which pretty much leaves out the atheist types to complete the very program they state is essential to stay sober.

Then comes the circle. First, they introduce new members. They really do say, Hi, I’m Fred and I’m an alcoholic. Hiiiiiiii, Fred. I didn’t get much of a hi back when I announced I used to be an alcoholic, but I’m not anymore. They all sort of mumbled a very unenthusiastic greeting and wished to move on. I caught the stern look of the senior member and foreshadowed that we would be talking soon after circle time was over.

I want the AA members to think how powerful that statement is mentally. I used to be an alcoholic. This means I have taken control. I am not that person anymore. Versus, I am an alcoholic. I’m still living it. I could fall back again. I’m still dysfunctional. I am deficit. I’m not normal. Do you see the difference in mentality? One forges strength and one doesn’t. And it certainly doesn’t seem that their method of being aware that they are still an alcoholic keeps them from drinking since most addicts who go to AA fail to stay sober. But that was the very first mental item I noted three years before I began my writing work on the matter.

If they have anyone who has passed the chip markers, this is when they handed them out. One made thirty days in the two meetings. I don’t think this concept is terrible—having a visual milestone in front of you. I don’t have any chips, but every year clean does hold significance that I did beat the addiction that held me for over a decade.

It is the main portion of the meeting that I have the most contention with, which is universal from everyone that I have spoken to who spent time in AA. Storytime. Except the stories in AA don’t leave you with a good feeling right before going to sleep. They are reliving their former toxic lives. One member told us how because of alcohol he flunked out of college and didn’t become an accountant like he was pursuing. There were many tales of blackouts, arrests, jail time and all the stupid things that heavily intoxicated people do.

I’ve stated in other articles that I could see this tale telling in the beginning stages of recovery as a reminder of what alcohol addiction did to you. But that whole life needs to be left in the past. Even if you aren’t “telling your story,” you are listening to a different flavor of the same poison from others’ remembrances. I felt pretty good that night before I went to the first meeting I attended. Interesting how at both meetings, when I departed, I suddenly had intense cravings for my old liquid friend that lasted for a few hours. I understand why. No one had a countenance of peace when the circle broke for the smoke break outside.

What was more disturbing was the story of one member, two years clean, whose topic was going to a weekend party. He stated he woke in the morning and in anticipation of the event, got on his knees and chanted the Serenity Prayer. Then he called his sponsor. Then he went to a pre-party meeting. He stayed at the party a few hours then went to an after party meeting. Then he talked to his sponsor again and concluded the day with another Serenity Prayer.

Understand this was a man who had twice the time sober as myself. I had gone to a similar event not too long prior as well. I kept a soda water in my hand with a lime, had a few mild transient cravings, and it wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t a big deal because I didn’t make it a big deal. That’s what these meetings do to people. They keep them in a mild state of panic that you are always an alcoholic and never forget that when you try to interact with the rest of society. The other meeting in the other location had the same circle and the same stories with slightly different script. No one looked emotionally healthy as they smoked cigarettes outside while sucking coffee and ingesting sugar cookies.

At that point, my mildly glaring senior member gave a closing “motivational” speech. He stated he was twenty years sober and still came to AA five to six nights a week. He declared this was the only way. I hope to this day the newer members remembered that I had declared earlier that it certainly wasn’t.

He did find me at one of the breaks to inform that no one is cured of alcoholism. I simply told him that when I reached the two year mark, I would certainly declare official cure. I also noted to him that I wasn’t smoking nor sucking coffee like the only existing glass of water in the Mojavi desert. He offered a few tidbits of more mantra opinion and then walked away sullenly.

That was my impression of all the senior members in both meetings. They reminded me of the people who attempt to indoctrinate one into the Christian fundamentalist churches. They are pleasant until you disagree with their tenets. No one congratulated me on being eleven months sober. And no member I have conversed with outside of those long ago visits to AA have either. They tell me I don’t know how to live. They call me a dry drunk. The reaction you get if you don’t fall into lockstep march with their mantras is the same two decades later as it was in those two meetings. It is the snarl of a cult.

The other disturbing item I heard among the members was the adage that relapse is part of recovery. That senior member told me this as well during the intermission in the meeting. That I wasn’t ready yet. That they would be there when I was.

That was almost two decades ago. I never relapsed once. I have never touched alcohol since the day I quit it. I barely have cravings at all anymore and when I do, they usually last a few minutes and are insignificant. My life is so full that I can barely believe that I own it. The reason for my emotional stability is because I left alcoholism a long time ago and the members of AA never have—whether they still drink or not. Alcoholism is always on the forefront of their brains. They talk about alcoholism at every meeting. They talk about when they were alcoholics every meeting.

I’ve stated before that I could see going to an AA type program in the beginning of recovery toward cure. But when I saw those senior members lecturing, it filled me with nothing but sadness. Because they could have my life that I own today. But for them, a long time ago, they were indoctrinated into a cult. They were brainwashed by others like them when they were in their weakest emotional state. They were never told there was an alternative. They were told this is the only way. They thought they were doing well because they weren’t drinking anymore. They got approving nods from their sponsors, collected those milestone chips, became sponsors themselves and now the recognition they get in life is from Alcoholics Anonymous. As they sacrificed that very life to continue to be a forever alcoholic.

I don’t need years of meetings to determine that your basic setup is toxic. I could have told you that by your massive failure rate without ever entering your doors, AA. And everyone I have crossed paths with, who left your rooms, state that basic set up I just described is how your meetings run across the country. The premise of AA is negativity not progress. The fact that there are senior members there, long sober, proves my point. They have given up alcohol; that is a fact.

But they never progressed their lives to recover from being an alcoholic.

To journey on a tale of epic transformation on a 2,660 mile trail check out: THE SHEPHERD AND THE RUNNINGWOLF: A PATH TO FORGIVENESS ON THE PACIFIC CREST TRAIL

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REINVENTION OF SELF: HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND BEING FOREVER 

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For the condensed and orderly version of how I beat the addiction of alcoholism check out: THE SMALL BOOK: HOW I BEAT ALCOHOLISM AND WHY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS DOESN'T WORK

(Usually free on KDP)

John Barleycorn taken from Jack London's book, John Barleycorn. First published 1913