HOW TO BEAT ALCOHOL WITHDRAWAL. SECOND PHASE POST ACUTE

So you made it through the five day acute withdrawal. You decided to quit it. It was probably the worst thing you had ever gone through. It certainly was for me. You can read my previous article if you want the details on how bad it was. As I stated, I didn’t check into detox and that wasn’t smart. They have medications to help you walk through the inferno of acute alcoholic withdrawal. But even after the acute phase, you’re still in the withdrawal period. Most rehab centers will keep you for a few weeks to a month, depending on your insurance. And these facilities are aligned with the standard Alcoholics Anonymous philosophy, twelve step mentality and the traditional method of recovery that has failed so many addicts, alcohol or otherwise. As a matter of fact, most will open the door to their new patients by telling them to look to the left and right. For that’s how many won’t make it to complete sobriety.

Well, that’s just great. Day one, let’s admit that our strategy won’t keep two-thirds sober. You would think over the years that someone would wake up to this fact since Bill and Bob introduced their program of alcoholic recovery almost a hundred years ago. But they haven’t yet. Obviously AA is a huge fan of Einstein’s definition of repeating the same protocol and expecting different results.

The second phase of recovery lasts anywhere from thirty to forty-five days. At AA, they give you another chip if you make thirty days from your last drink. Because during this post-acute period is when you are in a battle for your life. This is when the worst of the cravings descend. And I’m not talking about gee, I could use a piece of chocolate craving. I am talking about nonstop, mouth-watering and insatiable longing for a renewed friendship with John Barleycorn. Much like a withering Dracula’s craving for fresh blood. And they are almost continuous during that second phase.

The intensity, frequency and duration of these cravings are what cause most to go back to the bottle. Because they think they are going to have this internal yearning to suck that bottle dry for the rest of their lives. And this is important to note, probably the most important point of this article. The intensity of these cravings as well as frequency and duration is temporary. It will not last forever. It won’t even last past second phase. A month later it isn’t going to be nearly this bad.

I remember waking up the morning of day six. The day after the acute withdrawal ended. How the morning seemed like morning, with the rays from the sun cutting through the California winter fog in the foothills. How strange it seemed not to feel ill, with vertigo and nausea from the previous night with J.B. How I could actually eat a regular breakfast. It certainly was more favorable than the last five days since I had the final drop with my longtime friend. That morning on day six with sobriety seemed just fine.

THE SMALL BOOK: HOW I BEAT ALCOHOLISM AND WHY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS DOESN'T WORK

But I knew from my previous research that it probably wasn’t going to last. I could now comprehend a week without alcohol, but a month? A year? A lifetime? So I didn’t think about a month, year or lifetime. I used the advice of AA and only concentrated on today. For not everything about AA is awful. I took what was useful. And I made another short timer list like I did for the first one hundred and twenty hours of acute recovery. But instead of counting down hours, I would slash days from the top number of thirty. And I already had five from the time in the initial acute withdrawal.

The five day acute phase is when you will feel the most intense physical symptoms of withdrawal. The next phase to that thirty to forty-five day mark is when you will have the most intense mental symptoms. It is an emotional frenzy. Understand that until you get to that month to a month and a half goal, it is going to be a roller coaster with the brake lines cut. You’re going to have to set your mind to the strongest it has ever been. Because the world is trying to stop your new sobriety.

This was probably the greatest shockwave in the earthquake during this phase of withdrawal. You never realized how surrounded we are by alcohol. Not only are you battling these intense, nonstop cravings, but you are retriggered by every bar you pass. Every billboard that shows the woman holding a glass of wine. You retreat to your television to escape after work and what do you see? A scene of rustic steelworkers saluting America with bottles of Budweiser.

Like the acute phase, I have no advice to make these cravings cease. Time will do that. You just have to put in your mind that it is another temporary level of the inferno. Not as deep into the abyss as the initial five days, but you still remain far from the surface and fresh air. And you just have to keep ascending the stairwell as every demon hits you on your path. There is really no easy answer. It comes down to willpower. Either you are going to develop it or not. And the nots don’t stay sober, plain and simple. It obviously isn’t developed in AA since so many fail.

This is where I would agree that hiding in “the rooms” is not a terrible idea. Because in those initial days to thirty or so, you will be thinking about alcohol constantly. The AA meeting would be a great safehouse for the refugees of the newly sober. And it isn’t a bad idea to listen to the others’ “stories” initially. You will realize two things. One, your life was insane as an alcoholic. Two, every story from others was a mirror of your own. If you look into that mirror and see the sores of leprosy, you can’t deny you had the ailment.

My problem with AA is their indoctrination. First thing they tell you is you are powerless over alcohol. Incorrect. You are powerless if you choose to play with that dangerous toy. Regardless of why you started. Whether it was genetics or socially learned or just became physically addictive to escape a turbulent past, the why really isn’t important. If you smoked a pack a day before you quit, are you really going to convince yourself that you can go back to it and reduce to just two cigarettes every day? All I have to do is remember the hell of the initial five days of withdrawal and the thought of opening a bottle goes away immediately.

So you could go to AA in the beginning to listen to others and you will see your recent past self. And realize how off the reservation you were. I would let the rest of their mantras pass. I wouldn’t get a sponsor, start their steps or absorb their philosophy. Put a few bucks into their donation can and go ahead and drink the coffee and eat the sugar cookies. You don’t want to make this massive junk food intake part of your normal routine in the near future, but for that first month and a half—use anything you need to pass what is going to be the most intense craving phase of the recovery.

They will try to indoctrinate you with the steps. That being the infamous twelve steps. Everyone there is obsessed with the steps. One day you are on step three. Then step six. Then you regress back to step four. Some work the steps on and off for life. And that is insane. There is only one step you need—to quit and never touch alcohol again. Then the road to the two year mark begins. This is about how long it will take for your neuro chemistry to fully recalibrate itself. After which, you simply go on with your sober life, sticking to your contract of never touching it again. You will have periodic cravings, sometimes situationally based. But never like that first month in frequency. I had a huge one at almost five years clean when working a corner at a Thai boxing event—probably triggering the neuro memory of my drinking days when I fought regularly for our school. It lasted three hours. But I knew it would pass as many had passed before. And it did.

That’s what you hang on to during that second phase post-acute withdrawal. That the feeling of these constant, insatiable cravings will be a temporary situation. It won’t be nearly as bad in a month and a half, and it only gets better with time.

What I did in addition to my short time countdown to the thirty day mark was divide each day into smaller mental goals. Noon, six in the evening and when I went to sleep (or tried). That kept me mentally sane. Just micro goals on the macro goal of making another day. Very quickly I was at two weeks. Two weeks before, I couldn’t comprehend going fourteen days without alcohol. And here I was. If I made two weeks, I could make another two weeks—to the thirty day mark. I kept my short time list in my wallet and kept checking off small time goals throughout the day. And the days began to stack up.

It isn’t just the cravings that will make this second phase difficult. It is an emotional nightmare. You can’t sleep more than a few hours at a time. You are in a state of fluctuating high anxiety pretty much as constantly as the cravings. One second you feel an emotional high and the next minute you feel suicidal. You are in a state of hyper agitation most of the time. Exercise isn’t even a thought at this point. The most I did were fifteen minute walks just to get the edge off a little. I tried to keep as many healthy foods in my diet as I could and tried to eliminate fast foods. That does help a bit in phase two. But I also  ate quarts of ice cream and did smoke a few cigarettes just like they do in the rooms. Because this was survival mode. In the next article I’ll address adopting the full healthy lifestyle for recovery, but really, this phase is just about getting through it.

The weekends will be the worst. You will have too much idle time. So you keep to your short goal mentality. You make it to noon, six in the evening and going to bed. I was actually glad when Monday came so I could get back to work and at least be occupied with thinking about something besides alcohol. But once you get through a few weekends, you realize that you can actually exist in idle time without consuming the hops. And this is huge because you start to have that inkling of a feeling that you can do this the rest of your life.

The best I can tell you what to do in this phase is keep your mind as occupied as you can. I had the entire series of the The Sopranos to distract me. And it was nuts. I could watch about fifteen minutes then had to get up and walk outside, then would feel cagey outside and come back in with yet another milkshake from McD’s and go back to the show. It would take hours to get through an episode. But I kept checking off those hours and kept progressing to the month mark.

I got no chip or round of applause from AA when I passed the thirty day mark. Because I wasn’t in AA. I possessed only the mental chip of knowing I had gone through thirty days. I can’t say I felt great at day thirty. During that turbulent period, I would be granted an hour here and there where the cravings took a break from my system, but basically I felt mentally rotten the entire time. And I certainly wasn’t living a healthy dietary lifestyle. I knew I would fix all of that once I got through the second phase of emotional turmoil.

The thirty day mark is the one that everyone seems to use after the initial acute withdrawal phase has passed. But the second phase can last a little longer. The first day I can say I felt good was day forty-five. The whole entire day which followed the first night I slept all the way through. Most that I talk to tell me it was somewhere between the thirty and forty-five day mark where they can say they had that first day when they just felt good. That’s a good marker to know when you have passed the second mile post.

But the key to surviving this mental inferno was just to keep myself as occupied as I could and understand what cravings were. They were the want of something—nothing more. Understand every time you ignore one, you win. And those winnings become an armed fortress. You did it once so you can do it again philosophy. Try to eat as healthy as you can, even with the anti-craving additives like sugar and coffee that everyone indulges in that first month or two. Short walks in the beginning of that phase became longer and more frequent for me. By day fifteen, I wasn’t out of the furnace but was better than day six. Just keep putting time in the past tense sober and the rest will take care of itself.

It is also important to stay away from people as much as you can. I was eleven days sober and went to an after work get-together—in a lounge of all places. Everyone had a beer in their hand. I almost snapped the handle of my coffee cup. It really wasn’t wise to make my life harder than it needed to be during that second phase. But that night passed as well. They all did until I made it to the goal line at day forty-five. I called two friends at that point and told them what I had been going through for the last month and a half. They were both astounded I had done it alone.

But whether you hide in AA’s rooms or in your apartment, there is no way around this second phase of emotional frenzy. And the most important point is to not even let a hint of negotiation enter your mind. You’re not a social drinker or a moderate drinker. You were an alcoholic. And now you are working your way to being an ex-alcoholic. That’s right, AA. I said ex.

If you are hiding in the rooms to get through, I would highly advise not letting them indoctrinate you with their protocol. You don’t have to grandstand, and I recommend you don’t unless you want an avalanche of snarl to come down on your head from them. So stay quiet. They won’t push you immediately to get a sponsor. They’ll let you feel your way in. But watch and listen quietly. Listen to one of them tell you he is twenty years clean yet is in the rooms five nights a week. Observe how ten years sober and they are still chain smoking and regurgitating their past. And ask yourself? Is this how I want to live in sobriety the rest of my life?  And remember, most of the initial AA candidates do not stay sober. I don’t have to prove my point. The failure rate of AA proves it for me.   

You keep yourself as busy as you can, check the days and adhere with no negotiation to your new contract of permanent sobriety. Then suddenly, you will realize you made a month. And if you make a month, you can repeat it five more times. Because six months is huge in gaining recovery. For at six months, you know you can do it for life as I’ll describe in the coming article as well as how to transition your life to one of healthy and holistic recovery in the third phase to six months clean.    

To begin your reconstruction of Self check out:

REINVENTION OF SELF: HOW TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND BEING FOREVER

For those who prefer the youtube version click this line

John Barleycorn: taken from Jack London's memoir of his alcoholism. John Barleycorn: First published, 1913