Why The 12 Steps Fail Most. Why Most People Don't Recover Through 12 Steps.

Those who have followed this very new blog, which is just under two months old, have realized that the author has no like for Alcoholics Anonymous. It would be safe to say I have declared war on its methods. And that is where my contention originates—their methods. For I could see if they would only wake up to their dismal failure rate and alter their program to one of positive holistic recovery, they would have  tremendous long term outcomes. But the problem with AA is they largely have indoctrinated their philosophy within themselves for so long, they now resemble a cult more than a support group.

That being said, not everything about the program is god-awful. The idea of reaching back to pull someone else to sobriety isn’t a bad concept. Going over your “story” in the beginning phases of recovery could be helpful to make one understand that he did indeed live in the suburbs of Lushville shortly ago. And the idea of a step by step protocol for recovery could be beneficial if it was constructed with a better mindset. Which is what I am analyzing today.

There are twelve steps of recovery in the AA program. Now the problem with a cult is they become fanatical about everything. Much like a fundamentalist church whose members see the Devil in every closet, there is a difference between “working a program” and becoming obsessed by it. The steps are supposedly to be completed in the first six months to a year of sobriety. But I have known AA members who go back and forth in the steps for years. This is stark contradiction to my philosophy in the stages of recovery given in the first few articles. I have a step by step process as well. But my program ends in two years after the protracted withdrawal phase concludes. In which I say continue your physically and emotionally holistic program while you continue to progress your life. And keep your contract of never touching alcohol again. And the fact that I mention the word cure makes me forever a heretic to Alcoholics Anonymous.

The Twelve Steps are the core to the AA protocol. And like everything propagated by AA, if you don’t agree with them, you are doomed to reignite that old friendship with John Barleycorn. As stated, there are some fine points in their steps, but a lot needs to be altered to aid in giving the former alcoholic a better existence now that he is sober.

THE SMALL BOOK: HOW I BEAT ALCOHOLISM AND WHY ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS DOESN'T WORK

The First Step is admitting that they are powerless over alcohol and their lives had become unmanageable. Well, sure your life is unmanageable—if you are an alcoholic, even if you are functional at your job. But the fact is the addict was never powerless. He made a choice. I made a choice. Yes, there may have been genetic predispositions from many in my family, but the fact is I chose not to be a recreational drinker. The power was within me. Now would I attempt to go back to being just a recreational drinker? Absolutely not. I brought myself to an addicted state over years. There is too much neuro memory, now long ingrained from those days. I know for a fact even if I drank only two beers a night or two glasses of wine, I would be fighting the urge to guzzle the rest of that case or bottle every night. Why would I want to go through that when it is easier to simply continue to abstain? But the power is mine. And I’m using that power to just say no. I made the contract day one and I’m keeping it.

Step Two states coming to realize a power greater than ourselves who can restore us to sanity. As an unspecified theist, who does believe in a Great Designer, this step annoys me. Because it is shifting this mental restoration to God, whatever God in which you believe. That is nonsense. Restoring yourself is one hundred percent the responsibility of yourself. I’m fine with asking for strength to do so, but at the end of the day the being that will bring you out of the abyss is the one looking at you in the mirror. Not to mention, you are out of luck if you’re an atheist. He will never be able to complete those sacred steps. But interestingly enough, I have known of atheists who did find sobriety for life. Which I would say proves that second step is invalid for necessity to be free from addiction of any kind.

The Third Step will be rejected for the same reason I discarded the second one. Making the decision to turn our will and lives over to God as we understood Him. This sets the foundation for your future sobriety to rely on another entity other than the one who got you into trouble with substance abuse in the first place. Yourself. You set your plan of action to stay sober, not God. This is why many accuse AA of being a bit of a recruitment tool for Christianity, although they would deny any particular faith. There is a reason many of “the rooms” are located in churches. You don’t turn yourself over to the proverbial Him, you pray for strength and help yourself as with the other adage when asking God for help. And once again, sorry, atheist, you now have two steps you can’t complete.

Step Four: Searching and making a fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Bravo, AA. I totally agree. This probably should be done once past phase two. After the first thirty to forty-five days pass, which are the worst of the cravings and emotional upheaval. Then do it. Look at your past and what you were as an addict. Get a clear understanding of all the stupid and depraved things you did under the influence of John Barleycorn’s friendship. You could even make a written list to stick deep in the back corner of the closet. Pull it out if one day you ever feel the want of liquid joy again.

But then you go back into the pit of my contention, AA. Step Five: Admit to God, to ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. AA can get bent on that one. You covered your wrongs in step four and that should be it. You can talk to your God about it if you want, which of course, leaves the atheist out of being able to complete another step. And you don’t have to tell anyone anything. You don’t have to find a Father Confessor. It’s no one’s business but your own.

We are entirely ready to have God remove deficits of character. Step Six. Again, nonsense. You remove your own deficits. You list what is wrong with your moral character in Step Four and fix those deficits. There is a reason I have another channel debunking Christian fundamentalism. Because I have seen disaster occur because their members sat around, waiting for God to intervene. Pray all you want, but you remove your faults, not God. And again, sorry, atheists, as you’ll have to sit out this step as well.

Step Seven: Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings. Wasn’t this covered in the above step? It’s starting to sound a lot like a fundamentalist service, AA. If I were God and you requested this, I’d tell you to get to work. And atheists can just continue to sit on the bench, I guess.

Step Eight: Make a list of all the persons you harmed and make amends. I agree to a point. But I have also seen this get out of hand enough to be considered absurd. If there is enough physical or mental damage due to your wrong, you should make amends whether you were an alcoholic or not. But I have seen this go as far to try to amend every slight insult. The smaller ones you let go. If you were simply rude to someone, maybe tell him you were a stupid drunk if you happen to see him down the road. If not, I’m sure he’ll get over it without you going all over town on some sort of rotten treasure hunt.

In which AA proves my point by taking the above step too far. Step Nine: Make direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Nope. The major wrongs you say you’re sorry and let it go. Quit living in this state of: I’m apologetic for every misdeed. If you take this attitude, pretty soon you’ll be a professional whipping boy. People get their feelings hurt daily in this combat world. If you really hurt someone, then right it. But don’t become this fanatic about rectifying every ill.

Step Ten: Continue to take personal inventory and admit when we are wrong. When shouldn’t everyone be doing that? Again, they take this to the point of absurdity. I can sum this up in simply doing the right thing and treat others as you would have them treat you. It doesn’t need to be some sort of step for recovery.

Step Eleven again neglects non-believers. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. How about improving yourself in all of your planes? The physical, emotional, career and spiritual realm of knowing our place in the universe? No, AA, a better idea is to sit, waiting for God to tell us, having no idea if it is even Him. I’ll strike this step as non-helpful.

Finally, Step Twelve. Having a spiritual awakening because of these steps, we try to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all of our affairs. No, actually, what you gave sounds a great deal like the dos and don’ts I learned in Catholic 101 in my school days. You have completely left out people who don’t believe in a higher power and even Buddhist types who believe in a different type of power. And you’re going to try to tell me you aren’t propagating religion, AA? Seven out of the Twelve Steps are religious based. And the dominant religion I saw being spewed in my short experience with AA was Christianity. You say the Twelve Steps are the core of your program then make a list that atheists or other skeptics can’t even complete half. Awesome reach, AA.

As you can see, there really isn’t a lot of it is your job to recreate yourself philosophy. Largely, a great deal pontificated is to let God guide you to sobriety and fix your deficits. Again, there is one entity responsible for your deficits and your sobriety—you. Note, I’m not knocking prayer or talking to your God. I’m saying stop putting the plate of your screwed up recipe in front of Him to clean.

Let’s contrast my program with the Twelve Steps.

I state clearly that you only need one step. You make a contract with yourself to never touch alcohol again. That’s what I did on January 22nd, 2009. I had six or seven beers in me and three left in the refrigerator. I looked in the mirror, saw what I was and threw the remaining three away. I never touched it again. No matter what happened in my life. I stepped over the line to end the friendship with John Barleycorn forever. I hoped there was a higher power to help me but knew the person responsible to not pop that bottle cap was myself. Then I went through those first two phases of recovery which last thirty to forty-five days.

The rest is continued recovery to the two year mark of cure. After four months, I went into the mountains to reflect on how I got to the state of chronic alcoholic to begin with. I realized it went all the way back to teenagehood. The torment of those days created the later adult. Without the anesthetic, I could now see the deficits of character that led to that alcoholic. I didn’t ask God to remove them. I began the process of fixing them myself.

I did have a spiritual reinvention from six months to two years sobriety. Through a physical fitness regime, clean diet and emotional program of daily yoga and meditation. I advanced my career, wrote books, learned how to invest and at the two year mark saw the person I was supposed to be in the universe versus the one buried in the river of hops.

I knew it was my responsibility to continue the contract I signed on January 22nd, 2009. I also knew it was up to me to fix the broken pieces from the trauma of earlier years. The journey wasn’t complete at the two year mark of neurochemical rebalance and cure. Over the next decade, as I continued the reinvention of Self, I lost several friends from my youthful past, who I had to let go. One is a late stage alcoholic today and will most likely be dead soon from the addiction. Another I walked away from because I could no longer look at his continued chaos, which I never noticed when years ago mine was the same.

Today, I surround myself with only positive people and eliminate anyone whose aura radiates negativity. I only grow stronger year after year. I am eighty percent retired now but continue to advance in endeavors that help others recreate Self, whether former alcoholic or not. I continue a high level fitness regime and meditative program. At the time of this episode, I am over sixteen years sober.

I beat alcoholism and claimed cure after two years because I didn’t adopt the Twelve Step program, which propagates powerlessness and shirks responsibility for the outcome of your own life while you spend it every night in the rooms. The key to sobriety is taking that one giant step day one and then engaging in a program to reinvent yourself on all planes: the physical, emotional, career and spiritual. You may find strength in a higher power but this entity isn’t going to carry you through towards your new life. And this is why I reject most of the Twelve Step program, which Alcoholics Anonymous states is the foundation of their recovery.

For if this was such an effective protocol, then explain, AA, why the vast majority who enter your doors fail?

To journey on a tale of epic transformation on a 2,660 mile trail check out: THE SHEPHERD AND THE RUNNINGWOLF: A PATH TO FORGIVENESS ON THE PACIFIC CREST TRAIL

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John Barleycorn: taken from Jack London's memoir of his alcoholism. John Barleycorn: First published, 1913